he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
