They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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