You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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