i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
