I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
