When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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