I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
