I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
