haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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