Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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