I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
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