Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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