Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
