I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
