dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I met the friendliest cop last night
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
