can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
