Apparently you make a good broom.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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