Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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