Welp...herpes.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
