3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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