I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
