so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
