Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
