yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
