Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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