Whod you bang
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
