My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
