I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
