I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
