that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Randomize
