What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
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I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
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Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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