So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
