you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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