I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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