I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I am one with the molecules
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
