Whod you bang
Nicole vs. Life
accomplished twins. life is a go
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
