He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
