i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
