Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It was like getting head from an anaconda
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
We don't watch enough power rangers
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
