i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
