Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
