im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Randomize
