A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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