butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
