the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize