1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
