First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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