why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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