when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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