the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
