No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
