i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
