i don't like sucking hair
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
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They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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