hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
