Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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