That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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