i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
