it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
