I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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