I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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