i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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