if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
