I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
