smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
