are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
how drunk are you?
Several
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
