I just found puke in my bra..
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
My ass is underappreciated
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
