I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
