This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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